sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
