i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
