there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
