the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
