He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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