office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
