Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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