Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
