My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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