Kareoke will never be a sober sport
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
