I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
