drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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