dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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