her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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