as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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