I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
