i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
