So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Randomize
