she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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