About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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