Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
