I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
