remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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