i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
