You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
