it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
