Your dad touched me again.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
