Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize