What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just want nice things and good sex
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
