I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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