I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
