I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
