We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
