Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize