yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
