3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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