a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
