Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Operation Purity has been aborted
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
