omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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