Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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