my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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