4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
