I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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