I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
