I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
