Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
