You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
