A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
