my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
