sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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