Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
