you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
