It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
