She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
