i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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