He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
