You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
