Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
