Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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