FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
